Lentil burgers

It sounds like something vegan hippies would eat, I know. But I recently had a bout of food poisoning from ground beef of indeterminate origin, so I've vowed to no longer eat ground beef unless it's organic, grass-fed, and all comes from the same cow. Seeing that grass-fed ground beef is WAY more expensive than I can afford on a regular basis, I've been trying out inexpensive burger alternatives.
This is one of my favorites. The burgers are actually really good, and you can add cheese and bacon to the end result if you like. I also made a sort-of aioli out of Sriracha chili sauce and mayo that complemented these perfectly.
Plus, since they're so cheap and healthy, you can add extra bacon and not feel guilty about it.
3-4 handfuls dried lentils
1/2 chopped onion
parsley
chopped sundried tomatoes
1/4 cup or so breadcrumbs
parmesan cheese
1 egg
seasonings (paprika, etc. as you see fit)
Dried lentils can be prepared in the same way as dried beans. To wit: soak in water overnight. The next morning, throw them in the crockpot and cook on low while you're at work. The next day, use them to make these lentil burgers. This method has the advantage of cooking out all the gastro-intestinal difficulties, and dried lentils are incredibly cheap.
Take the lentils and combine with the other ingredients. You may need to add more breadcrumbs/another egg to get them to hold completely together. Form into patties, and cook with a little olive oil, 3-4 minutes on each side.
Depending on how many sundried tomatoes you use (I used about 3/4 of a cup, chopped) and how much parmesan, you could conceivably make a batch for less than $1. Cost of hamburger buns and condiments are extra, of course; with a bag of 8 hamburger buns ($1.99), you're still looking at 8 big burgers for less than $3. I'll assume you already have ketchup and mustard in your fridge.That's about 38 cents each--a third of the cost of a Dollar Menu burger from McDonald's, and way healthier (and best of all, no chance of food poisoning).

Croutons

The best way to use up stale bread or bread that is in danger of going stale. You can use any kind of bread--sandwich bread, French bread, Italian bread, English muffins, hamburger/hot dog buns, dinner rolls, etc.

Take all your stale bread and cut it into cubes. Place on a baking sheet. Drizzle the cubes with a little melted butter, and sprinkle with herbs and/or garlic powder. Bake at 225 until crispy and browned, stirring occasionally. This could take an hour or more, depending on how much bread there is. But that's okay--it's important to make sure the croutons are completely crispy, or they will mold in your pantry. Once done, let them cool, and throw them in a Ziploc bag for future use. If crisped all the way through, they'll keep indefinitely.

Corn fritters

1 cup corn (frozen is fine)
1 separated egg
2 tablespoons flour
2-4 tablespoons butter
2-4 tablespoons olive oil or bacon fat (although duck fat is particularly nice)
Salt and pepper

Combine corn, egg yolk, and flour in bowl, mix well, and add salt and pepper. Beat the egg white into stiff peaks, fold carefully into the corn mix. Heat 2 tablespoons butter with 2 tablespoons oil or fat in skillet. When almost smoking, drop small spoonfuls of corn mix in pan, fry until crisp and brown on each side. Serve hot.

Mushroom sauce

This is great with bread.

1 tablespoon butter
2 tablespoons minced onion
a couple of handfuls of sliced mushrooms, any kind (shittake and portobello are especially good)
2 tablespoons flour
1 cup chicken broth
1/2 cup heavy cream

Saute onion in butter until wilted, add mushrooms and stir until they give up their liquid. The trick is not to crowd the pan. Do a few mushroom slices at a time if necessary. Cook until the liquid evaporates. Sprinkle with flour, whisk rapidly. Add broth, continue whisking until blended and smooth. Cook, stirring occasionally, another 15 minutes. Add cream, simmer 5 minutes more.

I've tried making this with reconstituted dried mushrooms (advantage: much cheaper than fresh) and the fresh really do taste better. But you don't have to use fancy expensive mushrooms; plain old white button mushrooms will do just fine if that's what you can afford. If the final result with those is a little bland for you, you can add salt or fresh thyme to jazz it up a bit.

Slow-roasted pork shoulder

There are two great things about cheap cuts of meat. 1. They're cheap. 2. They taste better. Yes, they take longer to cook; but I find that something like short ribs or lamb shanks, cooked down for many hours, are much more flavorful and versatile than steak. A big pork shoulder will run maybe $1-2 a pound. Buy the biggest one you can.

Take the entire pork shoulder, skin and all, and pop it into a big cast-iron Dutch oven. Put some quartered onions and carrots on the bottom of the Dutch oven; maybe a little leftover wine, as well. Cover. Cook at maximum (475 or so) for about 20 minutes, then turn the oven down to 250 and cook until meltingly tender, 9-12 hours or so.

That's all you have to do. You can start this first thing in the morning and leave it, producing a wonderful entree for dinner. You don't even have to stay home--this doesn't need to be stirred, or flipped, or checked, and since it's cooking at such a low temperature, you don't need to worry about overcooking or burning it. Just throw it in the oven in the morning and take it out when you're ready to eat it. The skin and bones will fall right off the meat, and the meat will be so tender you can shred it with a fork. Serve with barbecue sauce, or a white wine sauce, or over white beans, or over braised greens, or whatever.

I've had great luck with this as a party dish, served with barbecue sauce. Sorry, folks--I may be willing to give up my bacon chocolate recipe, but my barbecue sauce recipe is a trade secret.

Cost: Last time I made this was in New York; I believe I got 8 lbs of pork shoulder for $10-12, and it fed...well, that thing could have fed 20 people. I served it at a party and was still eating the leftovers for days.

Bacon chutney

This recipe came to me from my friend Eric. I haven't tried it yet, but I have no reason to doubt its deliciousness. It makes one cup or so.

1 Pound Smoked Bacon (thick cut or un-sliced slab)
1 Medium Onion (sliced thin)
Rub:
1/4 Cup Brown Sugar
1 Teaspoon Kosher Salt
1/2 Teaspoon Ginger
1/4 Teaspoon Ground Mustard
1/4 Teaspoon Ground Cloves
1/4 Teaspoon Chipotle Powder
1/4 Teaspoon Dried Thyme
1/4 Teaspoon Dried Rosemary (crushed)
1/4 Teaspoon Black Pepper (ground)
1/4 Teaspoon Onion Powder
1/4 Teaspoon Garlic Powder
1/4 Teaspoon Garlic Powder
Braising Liquid:
1/2 Cup Dry White Wine
1 Tablespoon Cider Vinegar
1 Tablespoon Worcestershire Sauce
1 Tablespoon Molasses

In a bowl, combine all of the dry ingredients and mix well. Place the slab of bacon into a dutch oven and sprinkle both sides of bacon with dry rub. Pat the dry rub into the sides of the bacon (use all of the rub). Cover the dutch oven and refrigerate for a minimum of 2 hours. Preheat oven to 250 degrees. In a small bowl, combine the ingredients for the braising liquid and mix well. Microwave on high for 1 minute. Remove the bacon from the refrigerator and sprinkle with onions. Pour the braising liquid into the dutch oven. Do not pour on top of bacon.Cover the dutch oven and braise in oven for 2 1/2 hours. Remove pan from the oven and place on burner. Remove lid and, over medium high heat, reduce liquid in pot until it is thick and glaze-like. Pour contents of pan into food processor. Pulse bacon mixture until it is a thick, but chunky consistency. Pour into serving dish or lidded jar. If not using immediately, refrigerate. (Let the bacon chutney cool to room temperature before putting the lid on it and putting it into the refrigerator.)

Shrimp creole

Shrimp creole is similar to shrimp and grits, except it's served over rice instead of grits. Again, try to use fresh (never frozen) shrimp. The taste and texture difference is really worth the extra money.

I made this last at my sister's place along the Gulf Coast, where I could get fresh-out-of-the-Gulf shrimp. I started with two pounds of enormous shrimp. I peeled all the shrimp and put the heads and shells in a pan of water to make shrimp stock. Whole shrimp are surprisingly easy to peel; the head snaps right off, the legs come off with the tail, and then all you have to do is run your thumb up under what's left of the shell and pop it off.

I chopped up all of my sister’s ripe tomatoes--about 27, seriously, her garden was a little out of control at the time--and started by sweating out chopped onion, garlic, celery, green pepper, and a little jalapeno in butter. I added a couple smoked alligator and pork sausages, then reduced that in a little white wine. I added the tomatoes, tomato paste, and shrimp stock, along with a healthy dose of salt (to help the tomatoes break down) and seasonings--bay leaves, paprika, chili powder, cumin, cayenne pepper, oregano, basil, parsley, and thyme. At the last minute I threw in the shrimp and a handful of chopped okra.

Serve hot, over rice, with Abita beer. Sit in the backyard and watch the fireflies.